Don’t get so caught up in your wedding that you miss your wedding - The power of documentary wedding photography.

26 Mar

As a documentary wedding photographer l'm a big fan of the 'in-between' moments at weddings. The moments that almost seem to slip by without demanding too much attention, now don’t get me wrong I love the the confetti tunnel, the singing waiters and all the nice staged parts of the day that make it entertaining.

But, for me I don’t think those moments really match up to un-staged beauty that is your friend from work sitting down outside with your 80 year old grandad fresh after the meal just as the sit gets low and the slight chill arrives, announcing that the day is coming to it’s end - two souls that would not have encountered each other by any other means apart from this day. I love that moment for two reasons; first, is this not essentially the spirit of what your wedding day is? The different individuals worlds that you have lived throughout your life colliding, in celebration of this new adventure you are about to embark on?

Now, the other reason - and the intent of this whole blog post - is that this for the most part is the reality of what your wedding is; organic moments that seem to slip by without calling a crowd. The reality is the majority of your big day isn't bouquets tosses, heartfelt speeches and vows, it's the 'in-between' it's the odd moments of sweet serenity will occur without prompt and without plan. Candid, unplanned interactions that tell your real wedding story.

What do I mean? Well, let’s look at the math:

A typical wedding day might start at 7:00 AM (with morning prep) and end at 1:00 AM after the final dance. That’s a total of 18 hours, or 1,080 minutes.

The ‘Planned’ Moments

Throughout the day, there are certain moments that follow a schedule. These include:

First look with the father of the bride – 10 minutes
First look with the groom (if included) – 10 minutes
Ceremony – 40 minutes
Group photos and bridal portraits – 90 minutes
Confetti shot setup and photos – 15 minutes
Bouquet toss – 5 minutes
Cake cutting – 10 minutes
Speeches – 50 minutes
First dance – 5 minutes

Adding these up, the total structured time comes to 235 minutes.

The In-Between Moments

Now. let’s figure out how much of the day is spent on in-between moments, we subtract the structured time from the total wedding duration:

1,080 minutes (total time) – 235 minutes (structured time) = 845 minutes of in-between moments.

Now, let’s calculate the percentage:

(845 ÷ 1,080) × 100 = 78.2%

78.2% of your wedding day—dedicated to unplanned, organic moments. These are:

✔ Your boss from work and dad smoking cigars outside
✔ The funny uncle wrestling his nephews
✔ The tear your mum wipes away when she thinks no one is looking
✔ The flower girl twirling in the middle of the dance floor, lost in her own world
✔ That one quiet moment you steal away together, soaking it all in

What This Means for Your Wedding

That means 78.2% of your wedding day is made up of in-between moments! These are the little interactions, the laughter, the quiet pauses, the candid conversations, and the unexpected emotions.They aren’t planned, they aren’t scripted, but they tell the real story of your wedding day. The mistake that I made very early into my wedding photography and videography career is overlooking these moments, that means I only valued 21.8% of the entire wedding day!

Now as I have grown in my craft and developed my style leaning more towards documentary photography, I absolutely use that precious time to capture imagery that is an honest and accurate reflection of your wedding day. Now that’s the takeaway for me as a supplier, but for you, as someone is is experiencing their wedding day, how are you gonna respond?

Here's my advice; don't just live part of your wedding day, live all of your wedding day. Slow down, take your time to appreciate those little candid moments that you didn’t foresee, relish in the feeling and don’t forget to actually live in your wedding day

Let go of the pressure to make everything ‘perfect’ and allow yourself to live in the present. The magic of your wedding day isn’t just in the grand gestures, it’s in the quiet, unscripted beauty of the in-between moments—the ones that make your love story truly unforgettable.